Shaadi wadi..hai raaba !!

Sometimes I question more about our society and its rules. I live in India, I am born and raised here just like other lower middle class families raise their kids.Since I keep my mind open and invite constructive criticism all the time, I have observed some very strong and stupid standards and unsaid idiotic rules of Indian society.

Lets talk about a typical Indian marriage here.A guy and a girl marry , all families are happy, they throw a marriage party where thousands of people eat and drink and then dance like crazy. Hundreds of songs played at loud volumes disturbing the peace of those sleeping. Why disturb the peace of those who are sleeping after doing a lots of hard and honest work ? There is a reason for this, its the day of happiness, comes only once in person’s lifetime, its the union of two souls, an unforgettable day, so dancing, loud speakers and songs and drinks are the way to express the inner joy. First year of marriage goes fine, in fact first 6 months are great.They walk on the road bumping into each other all the time, they do shopping together, they laugh together, they eat together three times a day, they sleep together. The happiness is dripping so much from their faces that you can put a bucket and collect 10 liters of it in 1 hour. Go fast forward 4 years, the same girl and guy have become mother and father, both are still married but now no happiness on their faces, no dripping, at this point even if you put a bucket beneath their faces, its not going to fill in 10 years. They no longer eat together three times a day, they no longer laugh together and in fact man is looking for opportunity to sleep with someone else. They are on bed, but they no longer sleep together, they are no longer making love anymore, they are just doing sex for the sake of it.

Indian Men are opportunistic, if the guy says I never slept with anyone then it means he did not get the opportunity, it never means that he did not or does not want to (always remember the 5% exceptional men and women). The women can’t sleep with someone else in most of the times because she is suppressed in a male dominated society. The wife does shopping and the husband now is standing outside of the shop, he has lost interest in her. When they walk they no longer bump into each other. In fact, one of my friends joked that if you see a 5 feet distance in a couple, you can conclude that they married 5 years ago. Husband is going in one direction and wife is going into another. Those friends and relatives who drank and danced at your marriage are not going to come to you now, to advice on marriage life, in fact they themselves don’t know anything. They don’t know anything because they never tried to observe and feel what is right and what is wrong with this whole society. This is the story of all Indian marriages.

I was heard very bluntly, very softly, in serious voice, in an angered face, from my closed frnds & cousions on different occasions that if you let your wife talk to other guys like she used to before marriage, like as if she is still a girl, then you will loose her, she will find someone else she likes and then may sleep with him (her ?) and will always find satisfaction from that person. This is the level of intelligence of a typical Indian Husband/Wife. Over the years, I have observed, analyzed and contemplated a lot about the society where I am living, the people of this society, its rules, its ethics, its qualities, its effects on kids, its side-effects, advantages of raising a kid in this way, disadvantages etc. I kept on thinking all over the years and I am still thinking. What I found is that the basic thought process of an Indian husband/Wife is completely in short-circuit mode. If you let your wife/husband talk to someone and she/he runs away with that person then it means she/he never loved you. If she/he really loves you then she/he will never ever compare you to anyone else at all, she/he will stay with you. Don’t you think its great to know the truth ? Actually, Its not about finding out that your woman/man talks to whom, its not even about forcing her/him to do the household work, its just about finding the truths of your surroundings, finding the basic roots of your society. Why don’t you throw a party that day because you found the truth ? Or is it because since the whole society lives in a lie then you decided to live in lie to, exact carbon-copy. Whats the point of living whole life in a lie. We are married thats all what is required to know. Why ? .. they don’t know the reasons, they don’t know the rational way, they have forgotten their own identities.

Whole of the society is running, moving, walking in one direction, in one line, like a herd of sheep and when someone from that herd tries to go out, they call him/her crazy and after some years he/she is labeled as the man/woman with exceptional god gifted skill. No one wants to apply reasoning that why he/she is there today, at that point of life and why I am here still.